Stuff happens

You've wondered, and heard it before.....

Stuff happens.

What do the world’s religions have to say about this vexing existential problem?

Taoism: Stuff happens. Who gives a stuff?

Hinduism: This stuff has happened before and will happen again.

Buddhism: The stuff that happens doesn’t really.

Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?

Islam: The stuff that will happen will happen.

Judaism: Lord, why is this stuff happening to me?

Evangelicalism: Jesus, we praise you, we bless you, and we just really wanna ask "why this stuff isn’t happening to someone else"?

Catholicism: Stuff happens because you deserve it.

Open Theism: Stuff happens to God too.

Pentecostalism: Tuffs appensh.

High Church Anglicans: Verily, verily, stuff happeneth.

Atheism: Stuff happens. Then you die. No more stuff.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke the stuff.

Hare Krishna: "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! . .

Jehovah's Witnesses: Let us in and we'll tell you why stuff happens.

Quakers: Quietly praise God for the blessings that stuff brings.

Calvinists: Stuff won't happen to you if you work hard enough.

Christian Scientists: Agree that there is no stuff.

Televangelists: Stuff won't happen to you if you send in your love offering.

Any that were missed?

Comments

[Susan]

Lutherans: "Your stuff isn't that bad."
Or, "Stuff happened? Let me bring over a hot dish."

[Steve Hayes]

My coffee mug says "Shit happens".

It too doesn't hace an Orhtodox version, but I suggest "God became man to get us out of the shit"

[Fr. John]

Did you receive the email?

[Fr. John]

Episcopalian: My great great grandmother gave that stuff... how could possibly think of moving it?

[cindy]

you missed Orthodox. You could say, "light a candle about the stuff." or
"if you stand here long enough you'll forget about the stuff"

[Teresa]

Deism: Stuff happening is the result of natural processes following the great plan of creation.