My older brother called me today at work. This is something he just doesn't do, and with the whole family on pins and needles awaiting the results of my youngest brother's chemo, I was not happy to see this.
Well, it seems that my youngest brother's liver cancer(which started in and spread from his colon) has now spread to both his lungs. He is weak as a cat, having just finished a horrific round of chemo and radiation for the liver cancer. This is not good news.
For close to 4 years now, his journey has been a rocky one, painful, loss of control, fear.
Why?
All the theological postulants of Augustinian or Irenaean theodicy just don't really make it here for me just now, and I don't give a rat's ass about the "God has a plan" crap, I am just plain mad, and tired of the suffering that goes on on this planet.
At this point his only desire is to live long enough to see his only child, a daughter live to be an adult. She will be 18 in 2.5 years. It is a modest goal, and I pray that he can achieve it.
O God, the strength of the weak and the comfort of sufferers: Mercifully accept our prayers, and grant to Your servant the help of Your power, that this sickness may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
I, too, will be thinking of you and your family. Bless you all.
Posted by: bls | June 02, 2005 at 04:51 PM
In a time like this, words of comfort are seldom comforting. Hold fast to the hand of God who holds you, your brother and all of us in a loving and powerful embrace. No matter what happens or when it happens, as my rabbi friend says, we are all falling into the lap of God.
Posted by: Mychal | June 02, 2005 at 01:43 PM
I have nothing profound to say other than: Love you, my friend. AND I am here for you during this painful and frustrating time.
Posted by: Unregulated Female | June 02, 2005 at 12:15 PM
I will also be praying. About ten years ago my family went through a dreadful ordeal when my young sister-in-law contracted colon cancer. She came through it and still attributes her survival to the prayers of Carmelite nun friends of mine.
Meanwwhile, I have to confess you would not believe what I have been whining about the last few days. At least I hope you would not believe it. Your family's tragedy is NOT part of God's plan to make me snap out of it, but it sure has had that effect.
As Dame Julian says, "All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of thing will be well."
Not, note, all will be as we wish.
Posted by: Damien Scott | June 02, 2005 at 08:15 AM
I am so sorry. I agree with you I get sick of all the sadness and pain. My prayers are with you and your family. Peace.
Posted by: CGMOM | June 02, 2005 at 07:48 AM
Your paragraph about the "God has a plan crap" brought tears to my eyes. Man, I have been there - right there! And though years have passed, I can still feel the echoes of the same kind of pain that you're feeling right now.
For me, although I didn't know it at the time, the "What the hell is this shit? experience" was the beginning of a paradigm shift in my life that has changed me forever and brought me to an ever-clearing vision of the real God.
Just know this... although I've never met you in person, I love you. I can't explain that statement. I don't understand it myself. But the Spirit of Christ in me feels mercy and compassion for you and yours. I lift up my heart to the Lord in behalf of you and your brother and your family.
Peace,
Mike
Posted by: Dr. Mike Kear | June 01, 2005 at 11:00 PM
I'll keep your brother, his family, and you in prayer.
Posted by: *Christopher | June 01, 2005 at 09:51 PM