by Andy Borowitz
For the first time in their three decades of existence, the disco band The Village People have inducted an openly Episcopal man, igniting a controversy that threatens to tear the fabled group asunder. Holding a press conference in New York City today, The Construction Worker, a prominent member of The Village People since its inception in the 1970's, urged "tolerance and understanding" for its latest member, The Episcopal Guy, who joined the group over the weekend.
"From the start, The Village People have been all about inclusiveness," The Construction Worker said. "And introducing The Episcopal Guy as our latest member is part of that tradition."
While The Indian Chief and The Fireman were reportedly in agreement with The Construction Worker about including The Episcopal Guy in the band, The Policeman, The Cowboy, and the Leather-clad Guy were reportedly opposed,creating speculation that The Village People might split up into two smaller, somewhat less influential disco bands.